We are about to talk about major abdominal surgery. Cesarean sections (also called C-sections, Cesarean births, or C-births) are not an easy way out and are just as valid as vaginal births. Notice how I don’t say “natural” birth, because what does that even mean? It turns out that it means different things to different people. To some, “natural” translates to un-medicated birth, while to others, vaginal delivery with medical assistance is considered “natural.” I’m not here to judge your birth plan or birthing experience, because your experience is your own, and no one can take it from you. Instead, I encourage you to use clear, precise language when discussing birth.
Your birthing experience is your own.
When we use phrasing like “natural,” there is an implication that anything less than an unmedicated, vaginal birth is not only not normal, but unworthy. Frankly, the idyllic scenario of giving birth next to a stream without an epidural isn’t a viable option to everyone and isn’t necessarily everyone’s cup of Mother’s Milk tea. The implication that specific ways of giving birth are more worthy or valid than others is one of the many divisive factors that can pit mothers against one another that doesn’t actually matter, like jockeying for some kind of “better parent” points that don’t translate to anything other than division.
Whether you labored for hours and couldn’t push any longer, needed help because of HELLP, found your baby was breech and refusing to turn, or don’t feel safe trying for a VBAC, your birthing experience is your own and just as valid as any other. Beyond that, it’s not our place to deny parents who adopt or use a surrogate their status as parents. How you have your baby doesn’t make you more or less of a caring parent, or anything less than a badass who did what they needed to have a baby safely.
I will now get off of my soapbox.
My C-birth was unplanned. I won’t bore you with all the details of the birth, but suffice to say that while I had every intention of having a vaginal birth, there were other factors at play. My birth plan was “healthy baby, healthy mom.” After Ivy’s heart rate dropped multiple times into dangerous territory (once almost long enough to warrant an emergency C-section), I asked my doctor if she could promise my baby’s heart rate wouldn’t drop again for that long. She couldn’t, so C-birth it was.
Listen to your Healthcare providers
Listen, they are professionals and went to school for a long time to provide care, but remember to be your own advocate. If something doesn’t sit right with you, get a second opinion. That being said, if they are telling you to drink water and have a bowel movement, you better be drinking water and working to have a bowel movement. Speak up and let them know how you are feeling; they use what information you give them, and they aren’t mind-readers.
After Care
REST. Once we got home, it was so easy for me to ignore any pain and extend myself when it came to the baby. Please don’t do what I did. Do what the healthcare providers tell you to do, read the handouts, and take care of yourself as well as the baby.
Once you go to the doctor appointment to be cleared for activity, ask your doctor about mobilizing your scar. This was recommended to me by my pelvic floor physical therapist, who also had a C-birth. Like after any major surgery, scar tissue forms and can create pain or tightness. Why this isn’t talked about more is beyond me, but this is another chance for you to be your own advocate. I strongly recommend talking with your doctor about the techniques if they recommend you head in that direction.
Speaking of pelvic floor physical therapy, it’s not just for those who have issues with leakage: my muscles were so stressed and tight that I was regularly in pain. Pelvic floor PT doesn’t feel great and isn’t fun, but it was 100% worth it to feel like a normal person again. There is no reason for you to suffer in pain.
Listen to Yourself
Let me hearken back to something I said earlier: C-birth is major abdominal surgery. That didn’t hit home for me until I read a poem I found scrolling through Reddit during a feeding. I gave birth on May 4 and saw the post many weeks later. That means it took me almost two months to fully realize what a huge ordeal I went through. It’s okay to feel however you feel about your birthing experience, and I highly recommend talking about it with others.
The Gear
There are tons of gear guides and recommendations for things you need for a vaginal birth recovery. While there is some crossover (hello, disposable underpants), there are things you won’t need from those lists to recover from a C-birth (my sitz bath gathered dust, which is doubly gross if you think too hard about it). Here are the Cesarean-specific goodies that I appreciated most in those early days of recovery:
Disposable underwear/Depends – we all know the trick of packing away as much as you can at the hospital (sorry, hospital workers everywhere), but it’s nice to know you have the backup waiting for you at home. No matter how you give birth, you’re still going to have lochia–thanks, Mother Nature! I liked these from Depends the best because they didn’t irritate my incision. Too bad they look just as bad as those mesh undies, but now is not the time for vanity.
Belly Band – check with your nurses while you’re in the hospital for this one as well. The band not only provides support for your poor belly, but it also helps your uterus shrink down with less pain (I mean, that’s what they say? You’ll be taking medication already anyway, so it’s hard to tell). If you don’t score one from the hospital, this one is well-rated.
Speaking of the hospital, I was so glad that I packed a going home outfit that didn’t rub on my incision. I highly recommend either packing loose pajama pants or something like a maxi dress no matter how you plan on giving birth, because you will still look and feel pregnant when you’re rolling out of the hospital, and you don’t need that discomfort in your life. Bonus points if your outfit has pockets!
Breastfeeding pillow – I used the Boppy, but there are enough people who prefer My Brest Friend that it’s worth a mention. It was so helpful to prevent my little angel from kicking the crap out of my incision while I struggled to nurse her. Motherhood = glamour.
Water, snacks, and a helpful support person – I was advised when I first got home to go up and down the stairs exactly ONCE a day. That doesn’t seem like a big deal until you sit and think about how that translates to daily activity. One way to make this easier on everyone is to have water bottles and snacks at the ready because recovering and taking care of a newborn makes you thirsty and HANGRY. Pair that with no one sleeping enough, and the snacks may save you from divorce or a messy breakup.
Did you have a C-birth? What items couldn’t you live without afterward?
My Darling Evergreen 